This is as much for people who do not understand addiction at all, as it is for the addicts who do not currently understand themselves, but are striving to do so. This will be completely free of judgement, as I was there, this is merely a portrayal of personal experience that I hope helps.
There are many reasons you may be unknowingly addicted to a certain activity, or substance, and ironically, it’s only when you start analysing these things you realise you may have an addiction. There may be many more things that others have experienced, however, I have tried to encapsulate issues and experiences I have gone through, to avoid inauthenticity.
FRIENDS AND FAMILY
Before I start this, I do not lay blame here, apart from on the self. Unless somebody is physically forcing something upon you, you make the decision to carry out an act. The blame has to sit with oneself and not the people around them
You’ll notice that top entrepreneurs do not hang around with drug addicts, and vice versa - there is a reason for that…
One major factor for people picking up a ‘habit’ is either due to friends who are a ‘bad influence’ or, a lack of the aforementioned. A friendship group can influence you through their seeming positivity and joy when experiencing the after-effects of their bad decisions. Alternatively, a lack of people around you at all, can lead to solitude, which in turn can cause a desire to detach yourself from your current reality (more on that point later…)
If you are currently using, or know somebody who is, I am sure you can think back to a time in their life where they were not in their current position. I am also certain (yes, certain) that you could hand pick individuals who have had an influence on how that person has acted/acts today since they met.
This idea does not limit itself to close friends, your family members play a huge role in this also. Psychological studies have shown a huge difference in, for example, the tendency to smoke if both parents smoke vs if both parents do not.
Negative people have a negative impact on your life. This just isn’t worth it, and if it means being alone a little more, it’s worth it - tips on this to come soon!
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES - 'BLAME EFFECTIVELY'
Negative past experiences play a huge role in whether a person chooses to detach themselves from their mental, and or physical reality. This idea is extremely important in effectively understanding that some things are out of your control, but if you are going to blame, as Tony Robbins says, blame effectively and elegantly.
A lot of people go through bullying, whether this is physical or mental, and blame their bullies for their current situation. I empathise with this situation, however, I have to blame the people who have led me to write this, who have led me to any positive experience I have had, to any feelings of desire I currently have, to win against myself, and to beat them.
The people who I consider led me to smoking, have also led me to help anyone I can. I would not be here without them...blame these individuals effectively. If you only have negative thoughts on this, you may not be doing so.
For a long time, I had a strong desire to come home and detach myself from my physical reality because well...I didn’t like it very much. I wasn’t enjoying my job, I wasn’t enjoying the fact that no female ever showed any interest. The problem is, and you may have experienced this, it leads to a vicious cycle, possibly something like this:
No girl is interested in me...I’ll go and smoke...I don’t want to message anyone because I am now paranoid of how they will respond...no girls are interested in me…
I hate my job...I’ll go and smoke...I’m now paranoid in work that I lose confidence...I see everything as a negative experience...work must be bad...let me go and smoke again.
This could happen for years without you noticing…using does not help the situation, but in turn, numbs you from both your negative and positive reality.
DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF?
I also didn't like certain parts of my personality, this was alleviated when smoking.
Others fed into this as well…”he’s a great guy to smoke with...he’s so chilled out”. I didn't want to be chilled out, I want to be a beast running 15 companies and getting up at 4am. Both the scared boy in me, and the positive reinforcement of my friends/family when I smoked, never truly let me analyse my situation properly.
When I admitted I was scared, and chose to accept that I didn’t like myself very much, I could start to grow into the individual I have always wanted, and knew I could be (I know that sounds cheesy, but unless someone has something positive to say now, get out my face - is the mindset).
This somewhat encapsulates a few of the points already made, but some do not notice that they are becoming, as my sister so eloquently put in my case...a ‘weed hermit’. If you do not realise you are doing this, I hope this makes you think a little differently.
If you are looking for a getaway, why not go on holiday, go on a run, on a walk, or meditate (transcendental meditation has been known to release DMT - this is the only right way to get high on your own supply!). The Wim Hof Breathing method can help with this, find his book here:
My contact information is on this page, please do not hesitate to reach out. You are more than welcome to contact me anytime to discuss your situation.
I love you.